Lauren puts me to shame.

Lauren's blog is actually worth reading. Mine, however, is not. But I am okay with this. I can concede defeat to such a well-spoken intelligent woman. :)

And to only perpetuate this matter, is another boring, pointless post. I'm hoping Lauren reads it, at least...it'll keep her slightly updated on my life.

Work is going so much better. I'm making my own niche, making some friends (which yes, are guys - they're not catty and bitchy). I had the chance to play a bit of poker with my managers and some other employees in the back of the restaurant the other night and had a BLAST. That instantly makes me feel comfortable - and I think I earned a few respect points once I called my GMs bluff and knocked him out of the game :) I'm making more money, which is always a plus, and the work environment is much better, to say the least.

Guy situation? Non-existent. This is okay for me. No hassles. I don't have to worry about anything but myself. I need to start studying hardcore - the LSAT is in 3 weeks. I can do this...I feel like the rest of my life has been on hold while I adjust to this new work environment. I'm infinitely happier - I'm even seeing crappy situations the way I used to - with a smile and a mind to fix the problem and move on. I can only pray that I can keep it this way. I'm trying so hard to be okay with this transitional phase of my life...I'm trying to remember that I'm only early 20-something and I've got a lifetime to figure it out.

Well. I have to go to work. (Boo...but hopefully some $$) Love all you "readers"...haha

-20 something-

I'm in such a weird place right now. I'm not hanging out with everyone that I used to hang out with (like, from work) nor do I know people well enough at my new job to spend time around them outside of the workplace. Which means I spend a lot of time alone. This is fine for a little while - I can clean, read, catch up on bills/finances, think about life...but after a while, it does get awfully lonely.

Katy was in town this past weekend (!!!) for Sarah and Bruce's wedding, which was an absolute blast. It was wonderful to spend time with Katy - I miss her SO MUCH! The wedding was fun...I kinda got weepy. Bruce is not one to get emotional (at all) but he did when he saw Sarah walking down the aisle. The reception was fantastic and the friends I got to see made it that much better. All in all, it was an utterly perfect weekend.

I wish I had something intelligent to write about, but I don't. It's storming out here which is nice - I love lightning and thunder. It reminds me of sitting out on the front porch with Mom and Roger with lemonade watching the storms blow through :)

I need to make a trip to New Orleans. Yes, to see YOU, Lauren, my only faithful reader. I am hoping to make it down there soon. I miss you and Zack!! haha LOVE YOU!

Alright. I'm off to make hot dogs for "dinner" and read until I fall asleep. I love a good day off!

Love,
20-something

Where did July go?

So...it's August. When did that happen?

On a serious note...I think I'm backing myself into a corner in a guy situation. It's not good. All it sets me up for is heartache which is never fun. Can't I just meet the man of my dreams right now?

On another note...I'm reaching a breaking point with a friend. It's all I can do to not sigh when the phone rings because I just know that it's going to be a lot of bitching. I LOVE her dearly dearly dearly but she's having a hard time seeing past a certain situation right now and I get to hear every thought that comes into her head. I'm just tired of hearing about it, is all. It's getting to the point where I feel like our friendship is nothing but a venting session - not cool or fun. Sigh. I need some new faces.

Love,
Me

Starting Over

Can I just say, that starting over feels great?

I mean, I'm nervous. I won't lie. There's so much more to know, and there's a lot of pressure because I got hired as a cocktail waitress instead of "working my way up". Their system is entirely different than the one I'm coming from, so it'll take some getting used to. I can't wait until I'm familiar with the new restaurant - I love knowing that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing and that I'm doing it right and well. I've already been called an over-achiever (I asked to repeat the expo follow because Friday night I kinda got pushed to the wayside and didn't get to see much)...I have a hunch the gentleman was just flirting with me, but he's right - I like knowing what's going on. I expect perfection out of myself, even right away.

Back to what I was saying earlier. I feel like I can breathe. Starting over feels absolutely wonderful. A lot of changes are occurring, and I think it's truly for the best. I have to cut some ties in my life - and it's going to be incredibly difficult. But I have to remember that this is my life and if it's not healthy for me, it's got to go. I'm ready to find some peace again.

Love,
20-something

FINISHED!

Today was my last day at that restaurant. I'm beyond relieved. I can't believe I'm done! I have to start at another restaurant until I can find a job, but that's okay. Sometimes a little change can make a world of difference. I'm in the middle of training at a nicer restaurant, and should be done by the end of next week. Awesome.

Oh, forgive me. Pardon my absence (I have the attention span of a two-year old)...it seems as though I routinely forget about this blog. Not that it matters? I don't think anyone actually reads this.

Here's my rant for the evening: I miss my friends who recently moved away. I miss Houston and our shenanigans and evenings at the bar, out on the patio singing "I'll Be" and "I'm Yours". I miss Lauren and Zack and trivia nights, a sane person to vent to, and the chance to get to know both of them better. I mean, now I have great reasons to travel to different parts of the US, but I wish they were here. Boo. :(

That's all. This is a really random, useless post. But whatever. :)

The 20-something

you can exhale now.

I know, you were waiting with breathless anticipation for my return. well, fear no more and fill your lungs with oxygen, loyal readers. I'm back!

I don't have a legit reason for my disappearance. I think I just kinda forgot I had this blog, to be honest. So let me give you a brief run-down on what's up in my (rather dull) life:

-I still work at that restaurant (stab me)
-I'm still single (the knife can go right in the heart, thanks)
-I'm taking the LSAT in June and applying for law school for next year (YAAAAY! The highlight of my life right now!)

Sad when academia is the highlight.

So..."M". We've been hanging out recently, but I dunno...he blatantly chose someone else over me. It didn't work out (she moved a week after they "found out there was a spark" - which really makes me question his judgment)...but it's weird. He's absolutely so sweet. He's cute, works hard, he's pretty smart...but nothing. There's nothing. No "X Factor", as I call it. "C" had the X Factor, for sure. But "C" was also a jerk. Maybe being a jerk and having the "X Factor" are correlated!! Hum...I'm gonna have to ponder this one. Maybe the "X Factor" is that unknown "edge" to someone that makes him seem more...mysterious. Edgy. Probably. I'll realize that Beta males are better sooner or later.

...Pretty sure that previous paragraph made no sense whatsoever. And if it did, get out of my head. I can't have you understanding my random thoughts like that.

So anyway...that's what's new in my life. Oh, and, I have to come up with about $2,000 in two weeks to pay my tuition bill. I'm not real sure how this is gonna work out...

Love,
The 20-something

awesome! i'm actually awake now (having slept in until about 4:30pm today, fending off a stomach ache).

so let's see...what's new? let's start with work.

first and foremost, i cannot stand working at that restaurant. it is the BANE of my existence. i was closing the other week, and wouldn't you know it? my accounting teacher came strolling in with his wife. now, i'm flustered to begin with because this teacher probably thinks i'm the world's biggest idiot and doesn't know how i earned my degree. i got a D in his class because i figured out how many points i needed on the final in order to get the D - answered enough questions to do so, then walked right out of the final exam. me and accounting mix about like oil and water. cutting back to the present...i made an honest mistake while taking their order and he talked down to me so rudely that i actually had to go back out on the back dock and let some tears go. i mean, REALLY?? do you REALLY think that i still want to be a server a year after having graduated with a solid degree? NO! i'm hard enough on myself, i really don't need an jerk like him condescending to me...trust me, i'm not going to be in this business forever and i certainly don't want to be here now. AAAGHHHH.

here goes my deep thoughts:
sunday, there was a car wreck that killed a couple of students who attended the university, one of whom i was acquainted with. i knew him from a campus ministry. we weren't friends on facebook, but it was a face that i knew and had played more than a couple games of killer pong with. i was at work when it happened...management offered to let me go, but i decided to stay because it wasn't as though i had lost my best friend. as the night progressed, it became harder and harder to stay focused. it brought back so many memories of when Dad died. i was trying to explain it to someone at work...you know how when you break up with someone and you go through the cycles of healing? denial, anger, grief, healing and all that jazz? (don't quote me on those cycles, i didn't take psychology in college) you know how, when months down the road you look back on it and think, "wow, i don't even miss this person. i don't even remember what it felt like to miss this person?" well, loss of a loved one isn't like that. losing a loved one is a void that never gets filled...the memory of death is one that can come snaking back, lightning quick.
that said...it has been so hard to watch as various friends and acquaintances are dealing with the loss of two of their loved ones. :( another young man broke his hip in the accident...i don't think he even knows the other two died...

sorry for a random post.

love,
me