awesome! i'm actually awake now (having slept in until about 4:30pm today, fending off a stomach ache).

so let's see...what's new? let's start with work.

first and foremost, i cannot stand working at that restaurant. it is the BANE of my existence. i was closing the other week, and wouldn't you know it? my accounting teacher came strolling in with his wife. now, i'm flustered to begin with because this teacher probably thinks i'm the world's biggest idiot and doesn't know how i earned my degree. i got a D in his class because i figured out how many points i needed on the final in order to get the D - answered enough questions to do so, then walked right out of the final exam. me and accounting mix about like oil and water. cutting back to the present...i made an honest mistake while taking their order and he talked down to me so rudely that i actually had to go back out on the back dock and let some tears go. i mean, REALLY?? do you REALLY think that i still want to be a server a year after having graduated with a solid degree? NO! i'm hard enough on myself, i really don't need an jerk like him condescending to me...trust me, i'm not going to be in this business forever and i certainly don't want to be here now. AAAGHHHH.

here goes my deep thoughts:
sunday, there was a car wreck that killed a couple of students who attended the university, one of whom i was acquainted with. i knew him from a campus ministry. we weren't friends on facebook, but it was a face that i knew and had played more than a couple games of killer pong with. i was at work when it happened...management offered to let me go, but i decided to stay because it wasn't as though i had lost my best friend. as the night progressed, it became harder and harder to stay focused. it brought back so many memories of when Dad died. i was trying to explain it to someone at work...you know how when you break up with someone and you go through the cycles of healing? denial, anger, grief, healing and all that jazz? (don't quote me on those cycles, i didn't take psychology in college) you know how, when months down the road you look back on it and think, "wow, i don't even miss this person. i don't even remember what it felt like to miss this person?" well, loss of a loved one isn't like that. losing a loved one is a void that never gets filled...the memory of death is one that can come snaking back, lightning quick.
that said...it has been so hard to watch as various friends and acquaintances are dealing with the loss of two of their loved ones. :( another young man broke his hip in the accident...i don't think he even knows the other two died...

sorry for a random post.

love,
me