awesome! i'm actually awake now (having slept in until about 4:30pm today, fending off a stomach ache).
so let's see...what's new? let's start with work.
first and foremost, i cannot stand working at that restaurant. it is the BANE of my existence. i was closing the other week, and wouldn't you know it? my accounting teacher came strolling in with his wife. now, i'm flustered to begin with because this teacher probably thinks i'm the world's biggest idiot and doesn't know how i earned my degree. i got a D in his class because i figured out how many points i needed on the final in order to get the D - answered enough questions to do so, then walked right out of the final exam. me and accounting mix about like oil and water. cutting back to the present...i made an honest mistake while taking their order and he talked down to me so rudely that i actually had to go back out on the back dock and let some tears go. i mean, REALLY?? do you REALLY think that i still want to be a server a year after having graduated with a solid degree? NO! i'm hard enough on myself, i really don't need an jerk like him condescending to me...trust me, i'm not going to be in this business forever and i certainly don't want to be here now. AAAGHHHH.
here goes my deep thoughts:
sunday, there was a car wreck that killed a couple of students who attended the university, one of whom i was acquainted with. i knew him from a campus ministry. we weren't friends on facebook, but it was a face that i knew and had played more than a couple games of killer pong with. i was at work when it happened...management offered to let me go, but i decided to stay because it wasn't as though i had lost my best friend. as the night progressed, it became harder and harder to stay focused. it brought back so many memories of when Dad died. i was trying to explain it to someone at work...you know how when you break up with someone and you go through the cycles of healing? denial, anger, grief, healing and all that jazz? (don't quote me on those cycles, i didn't take psychology in college) you know how, when months down the road you look back on it and think, "wow, i don't even miss this person. i don't even remember what it felt like to miss this person?" well, loss of a loved one isn't like that. losing a loved one is a void that never gets filled...the memory of death is one that can come snaking back, lightning quick.
that said...it has been so hard to watch as various friends and acquaintances are dealing with the loss of two of their loved ones. :( another young man broke his hip in the accident...i don't think he even knows the other two died...
sorry for a random post.
love,
me
November 10, 2008
November 08, 2008
November 05, 2008
A bit of history, indeed
I'm proud to say that I'm an American today. I'm thrilled that I was alive to see the election of an African American president. I hope, hope, hope, that the country will support our new leader.
On the other hand, I'm not sure I support all of Obama's ideas. But I guess I'll deal with those issues, as they pertain to me, when they show up. I'm also thankful I no longer have to hear the ads for the governor race...those were annoying.
So I'm moving to a new apartment! My first one-bedroom. Nervous, but it'll help me budget and focus financially. (I keep adding an "e" to the end of words where it doesn't belong...like 'nervouse' and 'focuse' haha)
I don't really have a focus tonight, I guess I'm just blabbing.
Does anyone else ever get tired of being single? I am! I have been so incredibly patient...and I know, I'm only a 20-something. My stepfather has told me that I'm too critical and that a second date might occur if I weren't so picky (thanks for the advice?) but the more run-ins that I have with the opposite sex only encourages me to be picky. I'm not saying I'm entirely shut off...that's definitely not the case. But if I don't think a mutual liking/"dating situation" isn't going anywhere, I cut it out of my life. Why wouldn't I? If it's not making me happy? I don't know. Aaaaaggghhh whatever. Whenever. What can my worrying help? Boo....
loves.
On the other hand, I'm not sure I support all of Obama's ideas. But I guess I'll deal with those issues, as they pertain to me, when they show up. I'm also thankful I no longer have to hear the ads for the governor race...those were annoying.
So I'm moving to a new apartment! My first one-bedroom. Nervous, but it'll help me budget and focus financially. (I keep adding an "e" to the end of words where it doesn't belong...like 'nervouse' and 'focuse' haha)
I don't really have a focus tonight, I guess I'm just blabbing.
Does anyone else ever get tired of being single? I am! I have been so incredibly patient...and I know, I'm only a 20-something. My stepfather has told me that I'm too critical and that a second date might occur if I weren't so picky (thanks for the advice?) but the more run-ins that I have with the opposite sex only encourages me to be picky. I'm not saying I'm entirely shut off...that's definitely not the case. But if I don't think a mutual liking/"dating situation" isn't going anywhere, I cut it out of my life. Why wouldn't I? If it's not making me happy? I don't know. Aaaaaggghhh whatever. Whenever. What can my worrying help? Boo....
loves.
November 01, 2008
much better
the title of this post says it all.
i was actually feeling a bit melancholy today. no particular reason...just kinda quiet/sad.
i do feel better, though, than i did last night. i had lunch with a good friend today and realized that she felt the same way about politics as i do...she put succinct, accurate words to my feelings. it was nice to know that i'm not alone.
i paid the deposit for my new apt :) i can't wait! i'm so excited. now i just need to find that job, lol.
it's a short post today...i'm tired.
love.
i was actually feeling a bit melancholy today. no particular reason...just kinda quiet/sad.
i do feel better, though, than i did last night. i had lunch with a good friend today and realized that she felt the same way about politics as i do...she put succinct, accurate words to my feelings. it was nice to know that i'm not alone.
i paid the deposit for my new apt :) i can't wait! i'm so excited. now i just need to find that job, lol.
it's a short post today...i'm tired.
love.
chill.
wearing jeans wasn't as exciting as i hoped. nice for a change, but not thrilling.
can i just say something, please?
to everyone who thinks the earth is going to shatter because i'm choosing not to vote in this election...GROW UP. Just as you are entitled to have your opinion and make your voice heard...i'm entitled to not have an opinion. and honestly, i don't give two flying you-know-whats who wins this upcoming election. personally, i'm rooting for obama but my preference isn't based on his foreign policy or tax reforms. i truly, honestly, have no opinion. and really - we all know that someone who isn't informed probably shouldn't be voting, right? well, i'm not informed. i don't read the paper, i don't watch tv, i don't listen to the news. here's what i know (and this is pathetic, part of why i don't like politics)...obama is african american. mccain chose a female running mate with a pregnant young daughter (this running mate also happens to like caribou hunting). WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S MISSING FROM THIS?! The important things. the actual issues. Want to know why i haven't heard much about the candidates? Because all people do is talk shit about the other candidate. all they talk about is how awful it is that sarah palin goes hunting. or that her teenage daugher is pregnant. or how obama is african american and well...that's just unprecedented. omg, omg, omg. it's not politics. it's SENSATIONALIZATION. I know, I know...it's happened since the dawn of time. It's a survival thing. it seems as though people think they're in this "life boat" and if someone tells them that they are wrong, or not good enough, or their candidate sucks serious ass, then they get thrown to the sharks.
you know, i don't necessarily think Bush was the best president...or the most articulate. i realize, he made up words. but i'm so put off by how AWFUL people were about this. who gives two shits if he added a weird suffix to a word that probably didn't need it in the first place? or if he stuttered every time he gave a speech? the public is going to find something wrong with each and every damn president that we have. it's the human condition to point out other people's faults because it makes us feel better about ourselves. but we harped so damn much that for me, it just got annoying. he's the PRESIDENT for god sake...if you really think you can do better, get your ass into the oval office.
back to my first rant...i was at work today and had a table ask my political affiliation. when i told them i didn't have one, they about dropped out of their chair. you would have thought i told them i ate pond scum for breakfast. the old woman actually leaned over and whispered to one gentlemen, "she's just un-informed. she's so young, she doesn't know yet what's important..." blah blah blah WHILE I'M STANDING RIGHT THERE. Um...my ears work, thank you. I was beyond pissed. and then, i had about 7 of my peers look at me like i was a complete freak of nature because i told them i wasn't voting. i mean, honestly? it matters that much to you all? if it matters that much, that's pathetic. you cast your vote, i won't. so what? you've got nothing to gain, but then again...you'd have nothing to lose.
geez. i didn't realize how upset i was about this until i started writing...
can i just say something, please?
to everyone who thinks the earth is going to shatter because i'm choosing not to vote in this election...GROW UP. Just as you are entitled to have your opinion and make your voice heard...i'm entitled to not have an opinion. and honestly, i don't give two flying you-know-whats who wins this upcoming election. personally, i'm rooting for obama but my preference isn't based on his foreign policy or tax reforms. i truly, honestly, have no opinion. and really - we all know that someone who isn't informed probably shouldn't be voting, right? well, i'm not informed. i don't read the paper, i don't watch tv, i don't listen to the news. here's what i know (and this is pathetic, part of why i don't like politics)...obama is african american. mccain chose a female running mate with a pregnant young daughter (this running mate also happens to like caribou hunting). WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S MISSING FROM THIS?! The important things. the actual issues. Want to know why i haven't heard much about the candidates? Because all people do is talk shit about the other candidate. all they talk about is how awful it is that sarah palin goes hunting. or that her teenage daugher is pregnant. or how obama is african american and well...that's just unprecedented. omg, omg, omg. it's not politics. it's SENSATIONALIZATION. I know, I know...it's happened since the dawn of time. It's a survival thing. it seems as though people think they're in this "life boat" and if someone tells them that they are wrong, or not good enough, or their candidate sucks serious ass, then they get thrown to the sharks.
you know, i don't necessarily think Bush was the best president...or the most articulate. i realize, he made up words. but i'm so put off by how AWFUL people were about this. who gives two shits if he added a weird suffix to a word that probably didn't need it in the first place? or if he stuttered every time he gave a speech? the public is going to find something wrong with each and every damn president that we have. it's the human condition to point out other people's faults because it makes us feel better about ourselves. but we harped so damn much that for me, it just got annoying. he's the PRESIDENT for god sake...if you really think you can do better, get your ass into the oval office.
back to my first rant...i was at work today and had a table ask my political affiliation. when i told them i didn't have one, they about dropped out of their chair. you would have thought i told them i ate pond scum for breakfast. the old woman actually leaned over and whispered to one gentlemen, "she's just un-informed. she's so young, she doesn't know yet what's important..." blah blah blah WHILE I'M STANDING RIGHT THERE. Um...my ears work, thank you. I was beyond pissed. and then, i had about 7 of my peers look at me like i was a complete freak of nature because i told them i wasn't voting. i mean, honestly? it matters that much to you all? if it matters that much, that's pathetic. you cast your vote, i won't. so what? you've got nothing to gain, but then again...you'd have nothing to lose.
geez. i didn't realize how upset i was about this until i started writing...
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